A dear friend of mine wrote to me today to ask what safe alternatives I found for sugar, bouncy houses, and face paint.
WHAT?!@! Bouncy houses and face paint?! Why do I need alternatives for those?! (I kind of already talked about sugar in a previous post, but didn't really touch on alternatives, so I'll talk about that in a bit)
It is birthday season for me and my mama friends whose kids are all about the same age, and clearly birthday parties are on our minds. My friend is no doubt responding to the evite I recently sent out for my toddler's upcoming special day, advertising, of course, cake, a bouncy house, and face painting. So much fun! But wait, what? I'm going to inadvertently poison my kid and all his friends?
Maybe! So says these articles from a year or so ago:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=69872
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/12/us/12bounce.html
If you don't want to read the articles, they are basically saying that bouncy houses contain stupid amounts of lead. And lead does bad things to developing children. So the question, then, is just how safe are bouncy houses? Will my kid get sick from lead poisoning by using the bouncy house for 4 hours on his birthday?
I called the bouncy house rental company where I reserved our bouncy house, and asked about lead. The girl on the phone, with a tone of "I can't believe you are really worried about this", said that as long as the kids don't eat the bouncy houses, there is nothing to worry about. And that they did test the bouncy houses, but like she said, even the ones that tested high are not a problem because the kids will not eat them. That the lead doesn't just rub off onto the kids.
Now my mind is racing with questions. If there is no risk unless the kids eat the bouncy house, then why is anyone talking about this in the first place? Isn't it possible that a piece of the bouncy house could come off and a kid could eat it? Kids do put anything in their mouths, you know. Is it possible for tiny lead laden dust particles to come off the vinyl that would get on the kids' hands and faces and then get eaten by them when they use their hands to eat lunch after bouncing?
I don't know where to go to find answers to these questions. I also don't know what came of the lawsuits that the articles above were talking about. I'm guessing they didn't get anywhere, since bouncy house companies are still in business and parents don't seem to be too concerned.
So what am I going to do about it? Well, for this year, I'm going to mostly feign ignorance about the risk, and provide wet wipes so the kids can wipe off their hands and faces when they are done bouncing. Next year, I think we'll stick to the back yard BBQ.
Ok, now what about face paint. I had heard some chatter about safe and unsafe face paints a few years ago, and totally didn't think twice about it then because my kid was too young for me to care. Now he's old enough, and I have to re-research the issue.
Apparently face paint can contain lead, arsenic, cobalt, chromium, and nickle. These are not things we want on young, permeable, developing skin. I am not a face painter, so rather than hunt around for a list of face paint brands and their ingredients (which, according to the article sited above, may not actually list out these toxins), I emailed the woman I hired to do the face painting to ask her what kind of face paint she uses, and if she is aware of the potential health risks of some face paints. I am waiting for her reply, but I expect she'll be on top of this and confirm that she is aware of the risks and only uses the highest quality, lowest toxicity paints available! (fingers crossed) I mean, what else could she say - yes, I use paints with a lot of lead, but don't worry, it is just once a year that your kid will be exposed and he probably won't eat it so it'll be fine? Yeah, that probably isn't an answer I'd accept, or expect. Next year, I think I'll go with some food-based paints. It might actually be a fun party game to *make* the food-based paints together, then let the kids finger paint themselves.
Luckily, cake has not been reported to contain lead. However, excessive amounts of sugar in the American diet are a problem. So what does that mean for the most traditional and tastiest part of a birthday celebration? For my kid, nothing! He will eat cake!
But I do have one rule about birthday cake. *I* make it. And I try to use organic, unprocessed ingredients. This doesn't always work out, since cake generally looks, tastes, and feels (I mean the eating texture) better with super refined sugars and flours. But if you change your expectations, you'll still get a great dessert out of some raw sugar and wheat flour. I haven't started researching recipes for this year's cake yet, but I suppose I could post it when I find it. Last year I even made a vegan cake because my kid was on a no dairy diet (oddly, he is again this year, so maybe we'll have a repeat). People said they could not tell it was vegan because it was so soft and moist! Thanks guys! I wasn't quite so strict about the ingredients for his first birthday cake, but I do remember it being decorated all over with blueberries. So we had some natural sweetness to offset the sugary whipped cream frosting. What was inside, banana cake? I don't remember.
Oh look, I'm rambling. Must be sleep deprived. I'll write about "natural sugar alternatives" like stevia, trulia, and xylitol (which I think are all the same thing, if I remember correctly, which I probably don't, because like I just said, I'm really tired. why am I not napping now?) sometime soon.
And let me just quickly say that I am no fancy baker. My cooking skills have been called "novice". The point in making my kid's cake is not to show off. It is an act of love, a tradition for him to look forward to. It is the gesture and effort of making the cake that are important, not how it turns out. But if it looks and tastes good, that's an added bonus. I remember homemade cakes being the highlight of my birthdays when I was growing up, and I want to recreate that for my kids. This year, my toddler requested a "yellow" cake, "with brown maybe".
Happy Birthdays!
-NinaMama
Friday, May 6, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Because I observe.
My 5mo turned over for the first time today!
It was such a beautiful motion. Diaperless, laying on the floor, on his back, brought his knees up to his chest, threw his arm across his body, and REAAAAACHED for that toy. Like magic, his left leg and hips angled in the same direction, putting him on his side with his right arm strategically placed below his body so that he was able to rock the rest of himself over it and onto his belly, pushing himself up with both hands to see where he ended up. It was so fluid, so natural, that you never would have believed that he was totally unable to do this yesterday. He had most of the pieces of the puzzle figured out, he could turn onto his side yesterday. But today, today is the day he went just a little bit farther.
I want to use this opportunity to talk about how important it is to me to just sit back and watch my kids develop. There are two great benefits.
First, it gives me permission to stop doing everything - put down my phone, stop using the computer, let the dishes and laundry wait - and take 10 or 20 minutes, however long he is happy to be left alone, to do nothing but observe. This also strengthens the bond I have with my child, as I can focus on him and learn new things about him that I may not have noticed if he didn't have my undivided attention. For example, when he does a push up, his right hand stays firmly planted on the ground while he uses his left wrist (or back of his left hand) for support. It looks as awkward as it sounds! Also, he develops trust with me, knowing that I have faith in him to just be, and that I am nearby and will "save" him as soon as he needs help.
Second, it allows my child the opportunity to learn a new skill on his own and develop self confidence.
Sometimes I have to fight the urge to play the horse and carrot game with him. You know what I mean, when you dangle a toy in front of the baby juuuust outside of their reach, then move it slowly to one side or the other, hoping they will continue to reach out for it and unwittingly fall to their side and then, once they grab onto the toy, gently pulling them over onto their tummy. This interactive method seems like I'm helping my child by "teaching" him how to roll over. But movement is not something I need to teach to my son. It is something he will learn to do on his own.
So instead of dangling the toy, I put it on the floor just outside of his arm's reach and let him decide that he wants it, let him figure out how he'll get it, and let him discover how to move his body. That way he does it in his own speed, his own desire, and makes really important connections in his brain about movement and self confidence. Imagine how good he feels when he sees something he wants and is able to get it all by himself!
If I dangle the toy, he might feel frustrated and confused, because just yesterday I handed it right to him. And if I turn him over by pulling the toy he is holding onto, then I am moving his body for him, and he doesn't have the opportunity to make the important brain connections about how to move his body on his own.
There is a book called Baby Moves that talks about the importance of letting babies figure out gross motor skills on their own, and explains how they go through each step, the importance of the unseen in-between movements and milestones that are really important for brain development, and pictures of babies doing the movements. Would you have guessed that a baby moves backwards before they crawl forwards? Or that, before they can turn over, babies will naturally turn themselves in a circle? Mine would only get about half way around before he got bored and lonely, but he definitely did it! The author spent a lot of time studying baby movement and the book is a compilation of her discoveries. Only problem is that I think you have to order it from the UK.
I was just reading her website and wanted to highlight another important concept that I remind myself of often, "babies or children should not be placed in positions they cannot get themselves into." This goes back to what I was saying about why I don't like the Bumbo. I take less issue with the bumbo when kids use it when they already know how to sit themselves up.
I take time to observe my toddler, too. This is the most difficult when he is at the playground and just learned how to do something new that looks dangerous beyond belief (and is, of course, not actually that dangerous, but since it is a new and imperfect skill, freaks me out at the moment). Like climbing the ladder, or going down the slide head first. But I just watch, and trust that he knows his limits, and trust in the knowledge that he will learn more if he falls than if I make any effort to prevent it.... Can you imagine the tantrum that would ensue if I forbid use of the slide because he didn't go down it "properly", and how that would insult his ego, after being so proud of his own bravery and ability to discover a new way to use the slide? Instead, I will kiss a bump on the cheek and watch him find a way to go down head first *without* landing on his face. I trust he'll figure it out. I just need to remember to breathe while he pushes himself to each new achievement.
-NinaMama
It was such a beautiful motion. Diaperless, laying on the floor, on his back, brought his knees up to his chest, threw his arm across his body, and REAAAAACHED for that toy. Like magic, his left leg and hips angled in the same direction, putting him on his side with his right arm strategically placed below his body so that he was able to rock the rest of himself over it and onto his belly, pushing himself up with both hands to see where he ended up. It was so fluid, so natural, that you never would have believed that he was totally unable to do this yesterday. He had most of the pieces of the puzzle figured out, he could turn onto his side yesterday. But today, today is the day he went just a little bit farther.
I want to use this opportunity to talk about how important it is to me to just sit back and watch my kids develop. There are two great benefits.
First, it gives me permission to stop doing everything - put down my phone, stop using the computer, let the dishes and laundry wait - and take 10 or 20 minutes, however long he is happy to be left alone, to do nothing but observe. This also strengthens the bond I have with my child, as I can focus on him and learn new things about him that I may not have noticed if he didn't have my undivided attention. For example, when he does a push up, his right hand stays firmly planted on the ground while he uses his left wrist (or back of his left hand) for support. It looks as awkward as it sounds! Also, he develops trust with me, knowing that I have faith in him to just be, and that I am nearby and will "save" him as soon as he needs help.
Second, it allows my child the opportunity to learn a new skill on his own and develop self confidence.
Sometimes I have to fight the urge to play the horse and carrot game with him. You know what I mean, when you dangle a toy in front of the baby juuuust outside of their reach, then move it slowly to one side or the other, hoping they will continue to reach out for it and unwittingly fall to their side and then, once they grab onto the toy, gently pulling them over onto their tummy. This interactive method seems like I'm helping my child by "teaching" him how to roll over. But movement is not something I need to teach to my son. It is something he will learn to do on his own.
So instead of dangling the toy, I put it on the floor just outside of his arm's reach and let him decide that he wants it, let him figure out how he'll get it, and let him discover how to move his body. That way he does it in his own speed, his own desire, and makes really important connections in his brain about movement and self confidence. Imagine how good he feels when he sees something he wants and is able to get it all by himself!
If I dangle the toy, he might feel frustrated and confused, because just yesterday I handed it right to him. And if I turn him over by pulling the toy he is holding onto, then I am moving his body for him, and he doesn't have the opportunity to make the important brain connections about how to move his body on his own.
There is a book called Baby Moves that talks about the importance of letting babies figure out gross motor skills on their own, and explains how they go through each step, the importance of the unseen in-between movements and milestones that are really important for brain development, and pictures of babies doing the movements. Would you have guessed that a baby moves backwards before they crawl forwards? Or that, before they can turn over, babies will naturally turn themselves in a circle? Mine would only get about half way around before he got bored and lonely, but he definitely did it! The author spent a lot of time studying baby movement and the book is a compilation of her discoveries. Only problem is that I think you have to order it from the UK.
I was just reading her website and wanted to highlight another important concept that I remind myself of often, "babies or children should not be placed in positions they cannot get themselves into." This goes back to what I was saying about why I don't like the Bumbo. I take less issue with the bumbo when kids use it when they already know how to sit themselves up.
I take time to observe my toddler, too. This is the most difficult when he is at the playground and just learned how to do something new that looks dangerous beyond belief (and is, of course, not actually that dangerous, but since it is a new and imperfect skill, freaks me out at the moment). Like climbing the ladder, or going down the slide head first. But I just watch, and trust that he knows his limits, and trust in the knowledge that he will learn more if he falls than if I make any effort to prevent it.... Can you imagine the tantrum that would ensue if I forbid use of the slide because he didn't go down it "properly", and how that would insult his ego, after being so proud of his own bravery and ability to discover a new way to use the slide? Instead, I will kiss a bump on the cheek and watch him find a way to go down head first *without* landing on his face. I trust he'll figure it out. I just need to remember to breathe while he pushes himself to each new achievement.
-NinaMama
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