Because I use a nose hose.

My kids get congested a lot. Over the years, we've accumulated quite an array of nasal aspirators. Some of them don't work at all, some of them work a little, one of them works really well.

Plastic Bulbs
I have a bulb-style aspirator from American Red Cross that is white, and has a flat side with a little hatch. I think the packaging marketed this as being great to make cleaning of the bulb easier. The problem with this one is that the plastic is so hard, I can't squeeze the damn thing. Totally useless. I have another bulb-style aspirator, in the shape of an elephant, with the same problem - too hard to squeeze. Fun bath toy, tho.

I also have two other bulb-styles that are just run of the mill blue plastic, I know one came from the hospital when my second son was born, chances are the other one came from the same hospital when my first was born. One of them works pretty well - the plastic is soft enough to get a good squeeze, and the air sucks back in pretty quickly to create enough suction to get boogers out. The trouble is that it takes a lot of tries (maybe the vacuum area is too small) and baby gets annoyed before the job is done.

The other one I have is a bit smaller, but doesn't suck the air back in quick enough after it is squeezed. I'm not sure if this is due to the type/quality/age of the plastic or what. But just wanted to note: Two bulbs that look the same may not perform the same. Had I not tried many different types of aspirators, I may have thought that this one was fine, that I was doing it wrong, or that all aspirators worked that way. They don't. If it doesn't suck well, (so tempted, but I won't say it), then you should get a different one.

Motorized
Next up is the motorized aspirator. What were we thinking when we bought this? Oh yea, "Our kid is miserable and we'll do anything we can to help him. Buy every single nose sucker thing you can find until you get one that works!" This one doesn't work. It is SO LOUD. The suction noise it makes is really scary. My kid wouldn't let me get anywhere near him with it, and there is NO WAY to use it while he sleeps, the noise would wake him up. Luckily, all is not lost. This thing also comes with a button that plays creepy mechanical sounding lullabys to help soothe baby into submission. So now my toddler runs around with it so he can press the button and listen to the music. And sometimes he pushes the suction button so he can scare himself a little. Oh also, this thing comes with a weird little cup where the snot is supposed to collect after you suck it out of their nose, but I was never able to get any more out than what fits in the tip of the thing that goes in the nose.

You Suck
This last one works the best. The NoseFrida. You actually suck the snot right out of your kid's nose.

It has a stiff mouth piece at one end with a little lip on it which makes it easy to bite down on to hold it in place. Then there is a hose (thus, "nose hose") which is plenty long enough to stretch from you to baby without putting your face too close to theirs. Then a little blue sponge that is designed to keep the air going into your mouth clean and free of bacteria etc that comes out of baby's nose. Then there is a wider tube with a hole at the end where the snot collects. This last part is detachable for easy cleaning, and the little sponge replaceable for good hygiene.

The benefits are that you can control the amount and duration of the suction, the opening at the end is much bigger than the blue bulbs so you increase the vacuum area and get more out in less time, it is virtually SILENT (aside from the satisfying wet gurgly sound it makes when the snot comes out), and the snot collection area is clear, so you can actually see how much you get and you can see when it is clean after you rinse it out.

It looks a bit odd, and it takes some getting used to. I didn't like it the first few tries. When I sucked air through it, I tasted this horrible plasticy flavor. Really gross. Then, I rinsed it out, and tried again, but accidentally got some water into the hose part, so that when I sucked, some water droplets went into my mouth. Of course, my brain thought it was snot (probably because the day before I actually did suck snot directly out of my baby's nose as he was really uncomfortable and I neglected to bring the bulb with me. It was a "what do they do in Africa" moment.) and I gagged pretty hard. I stopped using it after that for a while, until a friend of mine commented on how well it works for her. I gave it another go, and realized that gross plastic flavor wears off, and the snot-in-mouth sensation does, too, especially if the hose is dry. Now this is the only aspirator I use.

My toddler will sometimes let me use it on him, but only after he tries it on me first (only fair, right? good teaching moment - wash between uses and especially between noses). Generally, I use it on him while he's sleeping. He's pretty strong and wriggly when he doesn't want me to use it. The NoseFrida has a big enough opening at the end to work well on toddlers, the blue bulbs are a bit too small. I mean, ideally, a toddler would be blowing his own nose, but mine refuses to for one reason or another. Funny, since 6 months ago he'd use up an entire roll of TP just practicing blowing his totally mucus-free nose.

My infant has two reactions to the NoseFrida. When he's awake and in a good mood, he kind of takes a deep breath as I suck from his nose, and giggles a bit as if it tickles. When something is really stuck in there or it is a lot of snot or he's tired and just wants to be able to fall asleep, he really doesn't like it and will wiggle his head back and forth and scream. Poor little guy. I also wonder how it feels to be so congested and have snot sucked out this way, must put pressure on his ears. How uncomfortable.

And remember - loosen hard, sticky boogers before trying to suck them out. You can use a gentle saline solution (drop it into baby's nose from your clean finger, or get a nose sprayer from the drug store), or, my favorite, a well-aimed squirt of breastmilk, right up the nose. Works wonders :)

-NinaMama